It feels like ages since I last wrote. Life has been passing by in a whirlwind, with exciting things on the go. One of my projects has been my involvement with Heal the Children and teaching children life skills whilst they have fun. When I work with the children, I seem to access my own child within, and am reminded how the simplicity of being silly or laughing and giggling can bring so much joy to our being. Kids nowadays are growing up far too quickly and are burdened with pressures and stresses which we didn’t seem to have as children. I am finding that adults are equally bogged down with the continual “things to do,” financial stresses and responsibilities which sometimes make one feel over-extended. It seems that there is always huge lists of things to do, but do these things really bring you joy.

I decided to explore what people regret not having done in life when it’s the end and came across an amazing lady called Bronnie Ware who for many years of her life worked with patients who had gone home to die. She spent some very special times with them and gained huge insight into what people’s major regrets were in life. What is clear is that people do not think about finances and the material objects they acquired on death’s door. Collective themes surfaced again and again and here are the common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

It’s important to try and honour at least some of your dreams and aspirations, and to do what you feel is right for you. Many people are afraid of sharing their desires, thoughts and dreams in fear of not being accepted, yet at death’s door, this fear seems irrevelant. Think of yourself in the last phase of your life and ask, what do I really have to lose by being true to myself, and you might find it’s not that relevant anymore.
 
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that Bronnie nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. All of the men Bronnie nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By looking at your values, and making more space in your life to enjoy more, will bring more happiness and this in itself can create more opportunities. Eighty percent of the work is really internal in order to manifest what we want, and then the rest just comes. We really don’t need to run around like blue-arse flies.
 
3. I wish I’d shown and expressed more of what I was feeling and more love.

Many people do not express their feelings in order to avoid conflict or because of the fear of not being accepted. As a result, they settle for an average existence and never become who they are truly capable of becoming. Many illnesses manifest as a result of all the bitterness and resentment one carries.

When others react, there is an opportunity for one to heal as long as you take ownership of your reaction to what others are saying or doing. It is one of your body’s barometers to show you something which needs to be acknowledged. When you honestly share how you feel with another, there is also an opportunity to raise the relationship to a whole new level or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, it’s win-win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

It is easy to allow friendships and relationships to slip when one has a busy life, however, many who are facing death regret not putting more effort into love and relationships. Money, status and material items are not important in the end.
 
5. I wish I’d enjoyed life more.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice.  They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

Exercise:
1. Write down all of the thoughts, feelings and aspects of your life that you wish to share or tell others in your life and then tell them.
2. Write down all your dreams and aspirations, and set a date by which you can fulfil them.
3. Write down what makes you happy in life.
4. Be aware of your thoughts. You can change the way you feel. Change any negative monkey chatter into positive affirming pearls which uplift and enhance your being.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.