I feel that anger is the most misunderstood of all emotions, and that’s exactly what it is – a natural emotion and a form of communication, just like fear, sadness, resentment or jealousy. However, it is often misconstrued as something “bad”. When people feel anger, they are often labeled in a negative way, but, there is a lot more behind anger. Anger itself is not the root. Fear is very often the cause of someone feeling angry. When one is not in touch with one’s fears, or one does not even know that one is afraid, this fear can grow into anger. It seems easier to say to someone else “I’m angry with you” instead of “I’m afraid you won’t love me” or “I am really hurt by what you’ve said.”

How do you feel about being angry or seeing someone else who is angry? What goes through your head when you think about anger? If someone is angry with you, do you want to defend yourself or run away?

I feel that anger is the most misunderstood of all emotions, and that’s exactly what it is – a natural emotion and a form of communication, just like fear, sadness, resentment or jealousy. However, it is often misconstrued as something “bad”. When people feel anger, they are often labeled in a negative way, but, there is a lot more behind anger. Anger itself is not the root. Fear is very often the cause of someone feeling angry. When one is not in touch with one’s fears, or one does not even know that one is afraid, this fear can grow into anger. It seems easier to say to someone else “I’m angry with you” instead of “I’m afraid you won’t love me” or “I am really hurt by what you’ve said.”

Feeling hurt and not having one’s needs met is another reason why one would feel angry. If you haven’t dealt with your hurt, it can become difficult to sort it out and then even harder to recognise what you are feeling. You can start to believe that your emotions are a part of who you are and even begin to think that you are a bad person. The root of this can be that we are really mad at ourselves for not honouring our own needs and wants first.

 Anger can also be an indication to you that something is out of line with your belief system. We develop our fundamental belief system in the first seven years of our life. As you grow older and become wiser, you might realise that the belief system you had in place no longer serves you and anger might be trying to show you that you need to change a thought pattern or belief.

If one doesn’t sort out the anger, then it becomes rage. It is very important to release one’s anger as if it is suppressed, like any other suppressed emotion, this can result in depression, guilt or create a dis-ease in the body. If one allows anger to be expressed in a natural way, one would feel angry, express it in a few minutes and then get on with it. It would then be cleared from the body. This would be fine, but the challenge arises when we bottle it in for so long that we either express it inappropriately by blowing up, for example in road rage or one suppresses it so much so that it builds up in the body and one becomes physically ill. When one has bottled it in for so long, one ends up giving the situation more of the anger it deserves or none at all.

We can learn a lot from children. If you have ever watched two young children who are upset with each other, you will see that they will tell each other exactly how they feel. They tell each other they never want to be friends again, that the other one is not their friend anymore and they can’t play with them ever again. They really get to the point and really express how they feel but after they have done this, it’s over and they are best friends again. If we could all just express exactly what we feel at the time we feel it, allow the other person to express what they feel without taking it personally (and if you did take it personally to look at this because it’s trying to tell you something) and then move on, we would be so much happier, healthier and more peaceful.                                      

Next time anger comes up, take note what happens within you. It can give you a lot of insight into your being. When you feel angry, go into your body, feel what you are feeling and express it. Then you can let go and move on. Remember it starts with you and ends with you.

So, after giving you some food for thought, let me know if you need some help with understanding your anger issues. And love yourself, no matter what you feel. God does.